Mom spends daughter's $5000 inheritance, she demands it back to pay for school: 'She says she spent it on raising us'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Sep 24, 2026 9:15 AM EDT

Does a parent ever have the right to spend their child's inheritance?

It is not uncommon for parents and their kids to fall out over money, especially when those kids don't get an inheritance they were promised. More than ever, life is expensive, and many younger adults rely on the promise that their older relatives will give them some money or property to give themselves a little more financial security for the future. They hope that it will be a straightforward way to make their life a little easier.

Unfortunately, relatives in charge of safeguarding this resource can also be tempted by its ability to make their lives easier. It doesn't take much for them to be able to justify taking from this gift for their own purposes and dealing with any consequences later. It comes as an unhappy surprise for the rightful recipients, not least because the likelihood of getting that money back is slim. While desperate times can call for desperate measures, it is important to do the right thing with an inheritance. It is the kind of benefit that can truly change someone's life for the better, and it can be a crushing disappointment not to have it.

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  • A daughter looks away from her mom and raises her hand to her face as they argue on the couch.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A daughter looks away from her mom and raises her hand to her face as they argue on the couch. Recreated scenario included to enhance reader understanding.  
     

  • A soon-to-be cosmetology school graduate was in thousands of dollars of debt from her education, and she had hoped to use a $5k inheritance from her great-grandmother to pay it off. However, her mom had been entrusted with the money and had already spent it, along with the inheritance of her siblings.

    The daughter was angry and felt like she was still owed that money. However, she also felt guilty, as she knew that her mom struggled financially, although she had many expenses covered for her. The inheritance was a lot more complex than just a lack of funds.

  • Am I wrong for asking my mother to give me 5k after she spent my inheritance?

    A few years ago, my grandfathers mother d d and left me and my siblings 5k each for education and schooling.
    via DepressedFrenchFri3s
  • Pretty soon here, I am to graduate from cosmetology school. I am in $2.5k of debt. And I honestly just remembered this money, since Ive been worrying about how Im gonna pay it off. I ask my mom about it, and she basically just says she spent it all.
    via DepressedFrenchFri3s
  • She said she wanted my grandfather to hold the money separately, but he ended up just giving her it in a separate bank accounting. She said so much wae going on, and that she spent it. But she also said she spent it on raising us. And nothing of it on herself. But still.
    via DepressedFrenchFri3s

  • The young woman felt sorry despite her anger.

    I ended up being the one to apologize to HER. For "bringing up negative stuff" but I am honestly ped. But idk how to handle it when she just looked so defeated and said "No, Im horrible." And stuff along that lines. Idk.
    via DepressedFrenchFri3s
  • But at the same time, that money could have genuinely helped me so much. And I remember, years ago, telling her I wanted to spend it on school, becaude she once soft launched using it to replace my phone that has broken. So a lot of trust has been broken.
    via DepressedFrenchFri3s
  • And Imp ed. Im so genuinely ped off. Because she doesnt even live independently. We live with our our grandparents who pay for most of the house stuff. And my sister has taken over most of my expenses like gas.
    via DepressedFrenchFri3s

  • She didn't know whether or not she was owed what she had inherited.

    Idk. I want to say she owes me 5k, since she LITERALLY SPENT IT WITHOUT MY CONSENT. But at the same time, she's poor, and seems to feel guilty. Maybe. But her reaction was like so guilty I couldnt tell her how I feel, and instead made me have to apologize to her. And then she made me promise to keep it a secret from my siblings. Idk. Im just ped.
    via DepressedFrenchFri3s
  • An assortment of makeup brushes and makeup stored in organizers.
    via Rosa Rafael

    An assortment of makeup brushes and makeup stored in organizers. Still frame for contextual reference only.
     

  • The mom knew she was in the wrong.

    Personal-Narwhal-184 She should not have spent it. Her guilt is suspicious because saying things like "I'm horrible" is a manipulation tactic intended to change the topic from the wrong that was committed to you reassuring her.
    via Personal-Narwhal-184
  • That's why you ended up apologizing. If she was genuinely remorseful she would apologize without making you feel bad for bringing it up and she would make a plan to repay you. She is probably bad with money and with accountability. You will probably never see that money again.
    via Personal-Narwal-184
  • This is your "fool me once". Don't get fooled again by giving her access to your money or letting her use your credit card or co- signing for her on anything.
    via Personal-Narwhal-184

  • They needed to get things straight.

    LouieAvalon Mac It's time to hold a meeting and inform your mom and your siblings you need to see the contents of the will and receive your rightful share right now or you will contact lawyers Whoever distributed funds could be very much in trouble
    via LouieAvalonMac
  • They also need to be informed Your mom will most definitely be in trouble - it is called theft
    via LouieAvalonMac
  • SlaytanAF NOR your mom stole from you. My mom would do the same thing and then flip it around and say she's a terrible mom. Don't let her guilt you about her own mistakes.
    via SlaytanAF

  • The money already had a purpose before she spent it.

    sugarcloudhehe NOR that money was specifically for your education not a free pass for her to spend then guilt trip you into apologizing and secrecy
    via sugarcloudhehe
  • ExplorerMajestic 1906 No, I'd absolutely have a discussion with the other siblings, she's flat out lying to you still, right to your face and you apologized for it. She spent the money over time, it wasn't just one transaction it was several and she hid it from you until you brought it up. Then blamed your existence and her lack of for
    via ExplorerMajestic1906
  • spending it?? Absolutely not I'd tell her she owned you 5k I'd also tell my siblings I'd call a family meeting WITH RHE GRANDPARENTS AND SIBLINGS.
    via ExplorerMajestic1906

  • The issue should be out in the open.

    ApartmentHot5376 NOR So your mom spent all of her children's inheritance and YOU apologized to HER???!!! Nope, you need to tell your siblings and your grandparents that your mom spent all the college fund money!! What a mom!
    via ApartmentHot5376

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family drama inheritance school mom
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